Keep Your Monster On a Leash

Though my days of rebellious youth are behind me, I still try to stick it to the man when faced with rules that are either silly to me, or enforced by an idiot.

Fatherhood will do that to you.  I am more uncool than ever before.  It was a short trip.  Being a dog owner will also affect a sense of anarchy.  We have a dog.  His name is Ernie.  He is a rescued dog from some shelter in Brooklyn Park or Brooklyn Center or something.  When he was found, ol’ Ernie was in rough shape.  He was missing an eye, which was thought to have been mauled in a dog fight.  He was smelly, his fur was matted and man, he was fugly.  So of course we adopted the one eyed mutt.  Ernie is probably the most well behaved, loving creature I have ever met.  He’s gentle, playful and is as meek and insecure as they come.  He just wants to be loved.

We all live in a very nice townhouse in parts unknown in the Saint Paul area.  And like most townhouses, we are a part of a homeowner’s association.  The association (or “they”) does many good things, like shoveling our walk and maintaining the grounds.  All for $137 a month.

The association also has all these stupid little rules that they like to enforce.  The rules are even sillier when you realize we are adults and capable of making adult decisions.   “They” didn’t like my neighbor’s patio door for example, so it had to replaced.  It’s like living in that one X-Files episode.  You know which one I mean.  I am thisclose to sticking a plastic pink flamingo in my lawn.

Anyway, I am not *that* rebellious.  I am not going to spend $12 on a plastic flamingo to make a stand.  Rather I am following the letter of the law well knowing that’s not what “they” meant at all.

This has been on my mind lately as “they” have had more drama than that stupid theater crowd from high school.  Yeah, you.  The head of the organization quit and then sent copies of interoffice emails to all the residents of the community revealing the fun shenanigans the board members have been having.  It’s been a lot of fun.  So we will now be in a transition period as new power hungry retirees go to war with everyone in my zip code.

So today I thought I post a cartoon based on actual events.

And here it is:

Now, before you get all up in my grill about this rule doesn’t apply to just me and my deformed dog, but to everyone, like the family a couple doors down who have that big German Shepard who roams freely throughout the neighborhood pooping on everyone’s lawns.  Yes, I understand the need for a rule like this, especially with the kids in the neighborhood.  But like I said, this is me rebelling.  Well, as rebellious as a married father of two gets.

Bring it on suburbia.


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